Wednesday, 13 June 2007

Last Minute Dot Com

I won’t be posting for a couple of days - I’m off to Ibiza for Janey’s Hen Weekend at some Godforsaken hour in the morning but I’ve packed a notebook and many pens and will take notes so that I can recreate the blissful/horrific *delete as appropriate moments for you all to enjoy/laugh at on my return.

Bea has packed several “darling little shift dresses for the evening and a rather stunning bikini”. Charlie has had all of her superfluous hair waxed off of her body and is staying overnight with us. Lou came out of her rehab top-up today and attended a group therapy session entitled “How to Cope in A Crowd”. Janey has issued instructions to Darren and his housemates about “having no parties while I’m away mate or the wedding’s off”. Auntie Ivy has bought an Ibiza travel guide and keeps ringing me and Janey up with little titbits of information that she thinks we’ll find interesting. Sue had a mishapwith the fake tan and is bathing in lemon juice to try and tone the orange tint down.

I didn’t watch the recent programme entitled “Terror in the Skies” by the way. Foolishly, Charlie did. She’s taking miniature bottles of vodka to swig at the boarding gate.

Passport, money and emailed flight confirmation? Check.

Faint sense that I’m abandoning my husband, child and dogs? Check.

Sweets for journey - mints for car journeys, boiled sweets for take off and landing? Check.

Notebook for jotting down blog entries? Check.

Books for burying head into when it all becomes too much? Check.

Suntan cream and aftersun? Check.

Slight fear of plane actually crashing. Check.

Slight fear of Bea becoming hysterical when surrounded by “people who frequent budget airlines darling”. Check.

Above fear mounting alarmingly? Check.

Fears that I’m about to enter a Size Zero hell and spend all day stuffing my face to compensate? Check.

Knowledge that if Janey says just one more time “Ooh, it’s gonna be like Big Brother innit?” I shall hit her. Check.

Camera? Check.

Oh, and suitcase! Check!

Toodle pip my lovely friends!


Drunk Mummy said...

Hasta la vista, baby! Check.
Can't wait to hear all about it. Have fun!

Gwen said...

I hope you have a great time. I can't wait to hear all about it when you come back!

Omega Mum said...

Have a lovely time. Bea sounds too sensible to give into chav hysteria. I'm sure she won't. Or make sure she, too has so much vodka at the check in that she doesn't notice.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Have a fabby time m'dear!

lady macleod said...

funny, check.

Have a wonderful time, we expect mirth upon your return.

Motheratlarge said...

Looking forwards to posting giving full details of adventures overseas! Have a blast, Nunhead Mum.

Motheratlarge said...

Nice site, by the way, have added you to my list of favourites.

debio said...


Full report awaited...

Blogger said...

Did you ever try to automate your free satoshi collections with a BITCOIN FAUCET ROTATOR?

All about me

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Nunhead, London, United Kingdom
I'm a mum of one, wife of one and owner to several dogs, a variety of breeds and sizes. I live in the up and coming area (or so they say) of Nunhead and have mad neighbours, strange friends and certifiable relatives. I shop locally, although I do defect to Sainsburys once a week - shoot me now local shopkeepers.