Full steam ahead....

Janey is pre-menstrual and very picky. I went through the mill this morning as she picked over my latest arrangements for The Wedding. I tried not to bite her ungrateful head off and instead sunk my teeth into endless custard creams. The Order of Service booklet is nine pages thick, what with all the adverts and Janey wants me to make it look "less bulky". Another rethink needed - the printer wants the final draft by Monday and she spent an hour scrutinising it for mistakes. When she couldn't find any, she had a go at my colour choice for the binding ribbon. I opened another packet of custard creams.

We went to the dressmakers for the final fittings last night. The bridesmaids look gorgeous and Mac looks so sweet in his suit. I was awash the minute we stepped into the place. Even Exotic Au Pair wiped a tear away as Caitlin danced round the room telling everyone she was a fairy. I’m just glad that Mac didn’t, his suit is verging too much on the lilac side of blue for my liking but hey, he seemed happy enough. Janey looks gorgeous in The Dress - her completed butterfly tattoos look surprisingly lovely too.

But, all in all, things are still going too swimmingly on The Wedding front – I’m a little concerned. What is it they say? Good dress rehearsals mean bad opening nights? The rehearsal has been set for the Wednesday before the actual day - let's hope something goes drastically wrong. If anything goes tits-up on the day, it'll be my fault I just know it.

Jane Opposite says she lives for the moment that the roar of Juan’s Kawasaki rattles her windows. “He’s lovely!” she giggled as we tucked into the latest offering from Manuela the Official Caterer (that’s how she’s listed in the Order of Service by the way) this morning, melt in the mouth chocolate truffles. The accompanying note said “I thought of these for to have with the coffee”. Jane Opposite is dreading the next TANA meeting – I’m sadly (hahahaha!) unable to go, it being the evening before I travel to Ibiza, I gave my apologies yesterday to Marjorie when I saw her watering her begonias in the front garden and Frank appeared two minutes later on the door step. Such a shame, he said, I wasn’t able to come but he could understand I wanted to say a fond farewell to my husband. He accompanied this with a lewd wink and a request to see my white bits on my return. Dear Reader, my reply was drowned out by the dogs barking at a passing Chihuahua….Frank practically vaulted the gate at the noise.

My pristine new books arrived today – I regretfully packed them without even inhaling that “new” book smell I so love. I’m saving them for poolside and mustn’t weaken. I’ve locked the suitcase as well. I’m going to need a forklift truck to carry the thing and David has asked me if I’m going for a fortnight and not told him. I always over pack – I always have done. I pack for every eventuality – all in the same holiday. Hot, cold, windy, rainy. Members of my family who laughed when I packed a jumper when we all went off to Greece a few summers ago (BM - Before Mackenzie) weren’t laughing when I was the only warm one out of all eight of us. It was an awful week, weatherwise, and I hardly took the jumper off my back.

Similarly, last summer, David, Mac and I went to Hastings for a long weekend – it was raining when we left with more predicted, especially in coastal areas. I packed shorts and sun tan cream for me and Mac – the sun shone relentlessly and the temperature was in the 90s for the whole weekend. David had to go into Top Man and buy a whole new wardrobe.

I shared my suntan lotion though……