2 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1kg/2¼lb lean minced beef
2 glasses red wine
2x400g cans chopped tomatoes
3 tbsp tomato purée
3-4 tsp dried chilli flakes
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 stick cinnamon
good shake of Worcestershire sauce
1 beef stock cube
salt and freshly ground black pepper
2x400g can red kidney beans, drained (I leave these out as none of us like them!)
Heat the oil in a large, heavy-based saucepan and fry the onion and garlic until softened. Increase the heat and add the mince, cooking quickly until browned and breaking down any chunks of meat with a wooden spoon.
Pour in the red wine and boil for 2-3 minutes. While waiting, pour a glass for yourself and drink down in one go, especially if you had the kind of morning I had.
Stir in the tinned tomatoes, tomato purée, chilli flakes, cumin, ground coriander, cinnamon, and Worcestershire sauce and crumble in the stock cube. Season well with salt and pepper. Bring to a simmer, cover with a lid and cook over a gentle heat for about 50 minutes to 1 hour, stirring occasionally until the mixture is rich and thickened.
Burn hand on saucepan and curse loudly. Hold hand under cold tap and turn tap on full. Cover self with cold water as water hits hand and rebounds onto "clean on" T-shirt.
Add the kidney beans (eurgh!) and fresh coriander.
Cook for a further 10 minutes, uncovered, before removing from the heat, adding any extra seasoning if necessary.
Leave to cool, ready to heat up for dinner when child returns from nursery and husband returns from London Bridge.
This is lovely served with rice, crusty bread or jacket potatoes, guacamole, sour cream and a big green salad to accompany.
Look in cupboard and find no rice. Look in fridge and find sprouting potatoes. Look in fruit bowl to find lemons but no limes. Look at shopping list stuck on fridge with Tower of London magnet and add out of stock items. Ring husband and ask him to bring rice home.
When ready to heat through: skim off any fat and gently heat before serving. Take call from husband who says he's in Sainsburys: what rice should he get. Advise to get the "2 minute in microwave" one.
When the family has gathered for dinner, stir chilli and check piping hot. Pick up saucepan and take to table to ascertain that family get the exact amount they want.
Drop saucepan on floor, spatter (thankfully) be-jeaned legs with piping hot mince and curse loudly. Scream at dogs not to eat piping hot mince. Try not to cry as culinary masterpiece is smeared all over laminated flooring by frantically gobbling dogs.
Send husband out for fish and chips and accept beloved sons cuddles and kisses on sofa while watching Emmerdale.