Sunday, 21 December 2008

Seven again

Last Sunday, as part of Bush Mummy's meme, I was asked to complete a list of "Sevens"....the first "seven" being the seven things I must do before my parents arrive. This was billed as the seven things I must do before my mother in law arrives. They were as follows

1) attempt to pass off Sainsbury's Christmas pudding as my own
2) put festive lights up at window
3) bulk buy Kalms and paracetomol
4) get rid of my cold
5) buy Amelia's present
6) clean out fish tank and rabbit hutch
7) clean oven

I can now update my list thus:

1) attempt to pass off Sainsbury's Christmas pudding as my own Not even purchased yet. Have looked at the shelves full of Christmas puddings but am torn between a bog standard one, a luxury one, an alcoholic one, a luxury alcoholic one or a slightly alarming looking toffee chocolatey one. Easier to pass off bog standard one as my own but really like the look of the luxury alcoholic one and have put it on my Tuesday shopping list.

2) put festive lights up at window I did this last Monday evening until I viewed my house lit up from the other side of the road. One side I have the Stewarts and their epic Christmas lights display and the other side I have Jack Next Door and his privet hedge which has "a millyon twinkly stars in it mummy" (a job lot of outdoor lights from B&Q woven into the bush). Feel like the poor relation and haven't switched our shabby effort on since.

3) bulk buy Kalms and paracetomol Paracetomol purchased and lovingly stored in cupboard above cooker. Saskia has poohpoohed Kalms (she has test-driven them whilst dealing with members of the public at Gatwick airport AND whilst wearing an orange shirt and has assured me that they are "old hat now") What I need, apparently, is a good nights sleep every night and so she has recommended Nytol. "A dose of them each night and they'll last you right the way round to teatime the following day".

4) get rid of my cold Don't tell anyone but I seem to have achieved this. Okay, so I sound like I'm on forty a day after any exertion and keep getting that annoying little tickle at the back of my throat but it's nothing that a good old choke and a Quality Street won't solve.

5) buy Amelia's present I cunningly handed this chore (and it is, believe me) over to David. When I asked him yesterday what he'd bought for his mother he looked at me blankly, ummed and aaahed a bit, went red and then went out to check the shed. I spent today at Bluewater, being run over by obsessive women pushing buggies, sworn at by panicking men folk (one of whom kept going up to women in a lingerie department and asking them to hold up bras to their chests to see if he could envisage "his wife wearing it"). I ended up spending an obscene amount of money on labour saving gadgets in Lakeland, a hideous Swav....Swark.....Swazziwotsit crystal cat and a jumper that I just know isn't going to be good enough. David spent the day watching Sky Movies with Mac and had the nerve to tell me at ten to eight that he was "knackered".

6) clean out fish tank and rabbit hutch I've dropped fish tank and rabbit hutch shaped hints to David all week. He'll do it "tomorrow".

7) clean oven Not a hope in hell. I'll just have to keep everyone away from the oven and take the bulb out whilst it's in operation so no-one gets a peek. Failing that, loudly castigate David along the lines of "The one thing, the one thing I asked you to do......" and ignore the confused and bewildered expression on his face.

Amelia arrives on the 4.25pm train tomorrow. Should I panic now, or wait until she gets here?


Potty Mummy said...

Sit on her glasses. That should sort out almost all your problems (and the others you can of course blame David for...)

Bush Mummy said...

All the sales start on Christmas Eve.. Do a sneaky exit when Mac is in bed and go get your top of the range all singing all dancing pud for half price.

BM x

Merry said...

I am impressed with Potty Mummy's devious suggestion. Go for it.

(Actually, might be better to have the little'un sit on the glasses -- he's too cute to get blamed for it. I'm sure you're cute too, but not Grandson-Cute.)

The Dotterel said...

Watching Sky Movies all day can be terribly tiring, you know. And all reserves of oven-cleaning energy will be drained. I think you've just made up your own excuse!

Kelly said...

I am not dead. Just so you know. Now going to spend the holidays catching up with all your work....

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Potty....i might have to do that. It's been five hours and I'm on the verge of screaming.....

Bush Mummy.....i'm torn between paying full price for the pud or facing the Christmas Eve panic buying

Merry.....he's already trodden on her corn and she merely smiled, ruffled his hair and called him a "scamp". now, if I'd have done that I'd have been cast out into Hell for All Eternity.....

the Dotterel.....oh puhlease!

Kelly....I know, I keep popping in to see you! How's CJ's christmas panning out?

Anonymous said...


All about me

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Nunhead, London, United Kingdom
I'm a mum of one, wife of one and owner to several dogs, a variety of breeds and sizes. I live in the up and coming area (or so they say) of Nunhead and have mad neighbours, strange friends and certifiable relatives. I shop locally, although I do defect to Sainsburys once a week - shoot me now local shopkeepers.