Thursday, 17 January 2008

What have let myself in for.....

I forwarded Don’s email to Bea at work yesterday and she rang me almost immediately in the middle of what sounded like a meeting – Blackberries can be a curse and a blessing I should think. “Darling, they’re giving you carte blanch to spend their money and hang the consequences! I think you should go VIP all the way, they can clearly afford it.” she said as someone with a booming voice droned on about “market forces”. I also forwarded it to Charlie in response to her emailed question “What are you up to?”. She thinks that it’s a dead cert invitation to Vancouver, all expenses paid and can she come too. She then clogged up the whole email system of the hospital by emailing me a link to the Vancouver tourist website that did something nasty to their firewall.

Am I reading the email wrong?

David was slightly more to the point when I showed it to him last night. “You’ll run yourself ragged, spend a fortune and start saying things like “Oh my Gahd!” and “have a nice day y’all”. He’d had a trying day “trying to fit round pegs in square holes”, but even so.


Bea rang this morning and held a conversation with me and her PA which went something like this:

Bea: I’ve just rung dad, I’ve said we’ll host the family party as long as certain elements are kept away. Skinny latte please darling and some of those dinky little cinnamon biscuits.
Me: I know, he’s told me.
Bea: Cinnamon! Also, I think you should avoid the usual touristy places, you’ll end up getting mugged by street urchins and photographed by Japanese tourists.
Me: I often wonder how many pictures I appear in. Strange to think that there’s a nice American family who visited Hampton Court at the same time as us this summer that has me in their picture of Anne Boleyn’s Court in an album on their coffee table.
Bea: yes, well, you’re strange like that. Are they cinnamon?
Me: well, I think it’s exciting and what tourist comes to London and doesn’t see the House of Parliament? Or Horseguard’s Parade? Or Trafalgar Square, or, or, or……
Bea: well, on your head be it. Do you need my help? No, the little ones in the red tin that Judith bought in from Harrods.
Me: They want to go to Harrods - we could have a shopping day that I suppose you could help with.
Bea: Eurgh, this isn’t a skinny latte.

Dad’s a bit worried because he’s already mentioned the party to the family, including the “certain elements” Bea is referring to.

I won’t tell her that until nearer the time.


Potty Mummy said...

Very amusing Nunhead - I have conversations like that with my sis. Often feel like starting my calls to her with 'Mork calling Orson...' we are so far apart in our daily jobs...

Mary needs a cooler name... said...

It can be fun playing tourist in your own town. I never walked across the Golden Gate Bridge until my relatives from Texas came to visit. Now that I'm up in Portland I have to be hostess whenever a family member heads north. They all expect me to know the "best" places where you can experience the "real" Portland.

I figure you should take your tourists to somewhere you like to go and tell them it's where "all the locals" go.

When I visited London, I did the touristy bit and had my picture taken in front of Buckingham Palace with one of those guards with the bearskin hats. Just as my friend snapped the picture, the guard made a rather naughty suggestion to me out of the corner of his mouth. Be prepared :)

Anonymous said...

Much better to have a conversation face to face. You can never work out the expression on faces.

Crystal xx

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Nunhead, London, United Kingdom
I'm a mum of one, wife of one and owner to several dogs, a variety of breeds and sizes. I live in the up and coming area (or so they say) of Nunhead and have mad neighbours, strange friends and certifiable relatives. I shop locally, although I do defect to Sainsburys once a week - shoot me now local shopkeepers.