Balloons: plain or with "Darren and Janey" and two intertwined hearts on them? Three or four tiers on the wedding cake? Flowers: discreet display or a Kew Gardens/Chelsea Flowershow hybrid? Ice sculpture or fruit tower? Silver or gold tablecloths? Champagne or sherry on arrival? Jellied eels and prawns or just jellied eels? Pageboy in baby blue, bridesmaids in pink? Guard of honour from Darren's team mates or dignified exit from the church? Daimler or Ferrari to pick the bride up from her family home? Horse and carriage a la Jordan to take the happy couple to the reception? Calais or Asda to buy the drinks for the reception? Sugared almonds or Belgian chocolates on the tables? Kalms or valium for the Wedding Planner?