As I sit here at the computer, I can glance over at my two Mother's Day cards which grace the mantlepiece, along with the bunch of flowers and the box of Thornton's chocolates with a fair amount of pride. Mac presented me with his hand-made card (and therefore sparkly, covered in pasta and artfully stuck stickers) and his bunch of daffodils (paid for yesterday, he assured me about four times, out of his own pocket money and chosen, he told me nine times, all by himself - although David was hovering by the DVD rack in Sainsburys at the time) at ten to seven this morning and gave me the box of chocolates twenty minutes later after he had ascertained that I did in fact want them so he couldn't actually have them for breakfast.
I was whisked downstairs and deposited at the table where he helped David cook me a Full English Breakfast (consisting of bacon mummy, sarsidges, tomatoooooos, mushrooooooooms and some toast, no marmalade). I was then told to sit on the sofa in my pyjamas while he and David whisked around with a feather duster before taking the dogs to Dulwich Woods while I read the papers and drank so much percolated coffee my bladder felt as if it was going to burst.
At lunchtime I was treated to Roast Pork mummy, with potatooooooooos and greeeeeeeens and for afters (if I was very good and ate my brockli mummy) I could have some of my special Haagen Daaz Baileys icecream. With sprinkles.
David's 24 year old son from his first marriage, Matthew, popped in at ten to four with a card (You're Like A Mother To Me - and hand written inside "because you nag me and embarass the bum off me in public") and assurances that, if he hadn't just laid out five hundred quid on the Vectra he would have bought me a present. As it was, he polished off the rest of my ice cream, took his baby brother into the garden to play football and kicked said football into Jack Next Door's greenhouse. He then left, to pick up his girlfriend (Sheree? Alice? Melissa? Hannah?) to take her to the pub for a bit. He didn't specify what bit.
Am now recounting my day to you with a fair amount of pleasure........David is bathing Mac, the dogs are slumbering in their beds and - as a very special Mother's Day present - my gorgeous husband has promised me an early night.........but not before he goes out to buy more Haagen Daaz.
Happy Mother's Day!!!!