Friday, 25 July 2008

Horror of horrors

Amelia is here. She claims that she "told me" on Monday when she left. She didn't because had she actually told me I would have been moaning about it to you all week. She's here to "enjoy the start of Mac's summer holiday" - I must admit I checked the size of her suitcase to ensure she wasn't here for the remaining five weeks but she only had her usual sized case that indicates a mere weekend stay. Not that she'll be any bother she assures me. She'll be out with Jack Next Door tomorrow at Eltham Palace and then "they" are going out to dinner tomorrow night so that she "doesn't interfere with your routine" (this was said with a sniff) and then on Sunday she thought she might take Mac to the petshop to buy some presents for Becks the bunny and Goldie the goldfish. "Jack has agreed to take us so you don't have to bother yourselves" she added as she ran a finger along my work surface

David was not at all impressed that his Friday night was to be ruined by a) his mothers presence and b) his mothers cooking. "I wanted an Indian takeaway!" he said when I rang him to tell him that she was rummaging around the fridge. "Well, I think she's planning on a roast" I whispered as I watched her slam the beef I'd bought for Sunday lunch onto the chopping board.

Still. Mac's happy his Granny is here. But then a four year old would be quite happy with the prospect of unlimited sugar, junk food, rubbish television, backchat and the knowledge that if he says "I want it", Granny will get it for him.

"Now listen to me" I said to him in a vaguely threatening tone as he looked for his Bob The Builder DVD. "Yes mummy?" said my angelic child, head tilted to one side and pensive look on his face. "Granny will attempt to undermine my authority by filling you with sweets and crisps and fizzy pop and will give you everything you ask for. This isn't right Mackenzie, in fact it's very wrong and naughty of Granny to do this when she knows that you can't have any of these things. And it's not nice because in a way she's being mean to mummy by doing this. So. When Granny offers you sweets or crisps or lemonade or agrees to buy you whatever you want what do you say?"

"Please Granny, thank you" he answered.

It's my fault. I pitched it wrong.

6 comments:

Merry said...

Ooooh.... the kid's good.
I am impressed.

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

My nightmare is with school and nursery. If it's someone's birthday or someone has returned from holiday or whatever, they dole sweets out left right and centre - but they do it with your child right there with you so there is no way you can refuse it without a screaming crying fit and how you're a horrible mummy. And some of the stuff they're given is REVOLTING. I would never normally let my two anywhere near the stuff, and yet they dish it out willy nilly.

aims said...

Yep - the kid's really good!!

I can't figure out why your MIL is always coming over - except for him next door...why doesn't she stay over there then?

Je ne regrette rien said...

OMG-(thanks the heavens she's single)... condolences, dear!

Working mum said...

I used reverse psychology with my MIL and told her it was her job to spoil her granddaughter with sweets, fizzy pop and all the ''bad for you stuff we don't allow her. She gives daughter apple juice and chocolate cake - not a bad compromise I feel!

I was surprised at the sweets that come out of nursery, at least her new school operates a fruit and yoghurt only policy - let's hope it works.

Millennium Housewife said...

I made a deal with my mother in law, any junk and they stay the night at yours. One junk filled day and vomit/sleepless/wanting to dress up like Barbie night later and bingo. It's fruit and water all the way..
The comment you left at mine about the bonio was fab, my whole family have been hooting at it (I bribe them to read my blog) Mh

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Nunhead, London, United Kingdom
I'm a mum of one, wife of one and owner to several dogs, a variety of breeds and sizes. I live in the up and coming area (or so they say) of Nunhead and have mad neighbours, strange friends and certifiable relatives. I shop locally, although I do defect to Sainsburys once a week - shoot me now local shopkeepers.