Bea got two dozen red roses and a Tiffany necklace.
Charlie got two cards from secret admirers, a box of chocolates from the "geeky guy in Obstetrics" and a hot look from the sexy Emergency Department consultant.
Saskia got a card, six phone numbers from the Singles Night she was at on Thursday in Canary Wharf and "some greasy git giving me puppy eyes all night".
Janey got "lucky - Darren took one look at my return to my former self and dragged me upstairs".
Lydia got a card, some freesias, a DVD of Open Water, a bar of Cadburys Fruit and Nut and "not a wink of sleep"
Marjorie got a card the size of Wales, a lemon tree, chocolate body paint and a kitten she's called Nero.
Jane Opposite got "f*** all, he don't do Valentines Day, tight git"
My mother in law received a card and a bouquet of flowers that she's paraded around the residential home so much all the petals have drooped.
Jack Next Door got a card and an invitation to dinner "one night" in Sevenoaks.
I'm happy to report that I did just as well as those listed above and, if you'd excuse me, am just off to get ready for a lovely meal out with my wonderful husband.