Sunday evening, and all is right with the world. Well. Nearly alright with the world. David often wonders how I can be so cheerful in the face of such adversity and has offered me some solutions.
Worry 1: Mac's cold is still in evidence although the Calpol is having some effect. He no longer sounds like an asthmatic pervert but his voice is strangely deep for a nearly three year old - it sounds as if his voice has broken. It's slightly offputting hearing my son boom "Can I have a cup of tea please mummy" whilst sounding like Brian Blessed.
David's solution: what's the problem, it's a cold!
Worry 2: The BMW is making a clunking sound. Not all the time, just whenever I go round a corner. Or reverse. It sounds like a little man with a hammer is under the bonnet.
David's solution: ring Garage Tom in the morning and book it in to be looked at. honestly, women, do I have to do everything myself.....etc to fade.
Worry 3: Senior dog ate something dubious in the park this morning and is now mooching around the house emitting noxious whiffs. I've been tempted to give him some J Collis Brown but David advised against it.
David's solution: Charcoal biscuits and alpine air freshener. Oh, also....stay down wind.
Worry 4: My cousin is newly engaged to what can only be described as a footballer. Amateur league only but a footballer none the less. Called Darren. Her mother is estatic, my mother is dubious, his mother is in rehab.
David's solution: We can be away for the wedding.
Worry 5: The freezer is broken and leaking water all over the newly laid laminate flooring. Twenty quids worth of steak ruined, as well as Mac's Curly Fries and, well, the entire contents.
David's solution: You didn't tell me about the freezer.....bloody hell, whinge, etc
Worry 6: Lydia Robinson has taken to sitting out in her garden at all hours (in this weather!) wearing just a tracksuit and smoking endless cigarettes. I was out there earlier checking Senior Dog's bowel movements and I thought she was having a barbecue, such was the smoke.
David's solution: Go and ask her if she's got space in her freezer for my Green and Black ice cream.
Hm. Helpful, non?
4 comments:
Dearest Sister,
Whatever would the Health Visitor say? Clearly you meant 'camomile organic' tea - and not 'Assam' or even 'Yorkshire'? As you will be aware, normal tea given to the under five year old child, will inhibit iron absorbtion.
I have bought a couple of small bottles of that alcohol hand rub from Boots, for the trip to the farm. God only knows the infections our little ones could pick up, they so hate washing their hands, and I know how McKenzie always gets his sleeves wet!
There was a study published a few years ago that showed that farm kids, because of their exposure to germs, dirt and muck on farmyards actually got less ill than city kids! Anyway, I use this as comfort when I guilty notice the sprogs hands are less than clean when he is happily eating away!
of course I didn't mean Mac sits down to a cup of PG. He favours raspberry and echinacea tea and, at a push, peppermint x
Clearly!
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